Choices
I was 23 years old in 1970. I was just leaving my husband of two years because I wanted more out of life than I was getting in that relationship. I suddenly found myself pregnant.
I felt I had four choices:
- Go back to my husband to save face, though he was not the father.
- Go home to my mother.
- Become a single parent and try to make it on the $400 a month I made working.
- Terminate my pregnancy.
My choice was number four. Abortion was illegal in Washington state at that time. There was a well-known doctor, however, who gave illegal abortions. He would be picked up and put in jail and would be back practicing within 30 days. He died in 1972.
I was happy when the law changed in 1973 to allow women that option legally. Women who felt they were trapped in a situation and may not be ready for the responsibility of a family. Even though it is legal, most women feel cheap even today for considering having an abortion.
Today I am 38 years old and I have not had to make that decision again. I believe that I became a more responsible person. This is my tenth year in my second marriage and my husband and I have decided not to have children. I have a career where I manage two offices and ten employees.
Two weeks ago, one of my employees came to me crying. She said she just found out that she was pregnant. She said she felt trapped and all she wanted to do was "jump off a bridge." She is 23 years old, just celebrated her second wedding anniversary, and has a seven month old baby boy. She and her husband are having marital problems and she has considered leaving him several times. He is not working presently and her income is needed to support her family.
When she came to me I felt that I should offer her advice. I couldn't do that but I told her to remember that she did have a choice. Because of my experience I was able to comfort her and offer her some insights into the reality of abortion and the potential future problems.
She was fightened, depressed and physically ill just thinking about the options. She did think about her choices. She thought about the baby she has and the fact that she most likely will be a single parent within the next few years. She also thought about her earning capacity in relation to raising one or two children. She chose to terminate her pregnancy and work harder to put her marriage back together. She went to her own personal physician. He explained her options in medical terms and asked her to think carefuly about what she wanted to do. When she finally came to a choice, he was very supportive and arranged to have the surgery in a local hospital.
I offered to take her to the hospital and the use of my apartment for the rest of the day. Her surgery was scheduled for 8:30 am, but she had to be at the hospital by 6:30 am to pre-register. She then had to wait for 2 hours before they took her into surgery. She was a bundle of nerves, and I had to calm her down several times She was scared and felt very much alone. Being legal doesn't always help but it's a start. The operation only took 15 minutes, but once again she had two hours to wait before she could leave. I took her to my place and she slept until 5:30 pm, when she left to go home. She said she was feeling better already and feels that she had a new start with her family.
Her story is different from mine but she did have a choice and it was legal. I did not like having an abortion and neither did she. I don't know anyone who does. It is nice to know, however, that I have a choice to determine what happens to my own body.
| 
