Anonymous
In 1971, at the age of 14, I became pregnant. I was in the 9th grade and was what I considered a relatively knowledgeable adolescent regarding sex. The pregnancy was a shock to me, as well as to my parents, and an embarrassment to my brothers and sister. News of my pregnancy would have destroyed my “reputation” and that of my family. We were long-time members of a small rural community in Iowa.
My pregnancy was terminated in New York City (which had legalized abortion then) amid total secrecy. I cannot describe my emotional suffering nor the heartbreak to my parents during this nightmare. But it was less than I would have suffered if I had been forced to parent a child alone at 15 in a community which would have ostracized me and my child.
After I found out about the pregnancy and before plans were made for my abortion, I had considered suicide or inducing my own abortion (I had a knitting needle selected for the job). I felt these were my only options under the circumstances. I have never regretted my decision to have the abortion. It was completed safely by trained physicians in a hospital.
I have, however, felt forsaken. I felt my church, my school, and my community had failed to protect me. None of these caretakers had provided me with the knowledge to protect myself against an unwanted pregnancy nor helped me sort through my values regarding my sexuality. Instead of providing me with much-needed guidance, they left my sex education in the hands of the mass media. With the emphasis on the distortion of women’s sexuality, it was not surprising that I became sexually active at such a young age. Everyone else was; I just got caught.
Because of the abortion I was able to finish school and continue on to gradate from college with honors. I am now the mother of a healthy, happy 10 month old daughter. I have a supportive husband and we both work. I pay taxes, actually making money for the country, not costing it money as I would have if I had become a mother at 15.
Thirteen years have come to pass and I wish I could lay the whole experience to rest – but I can’t. As long as men are determined to sentence young girls to the lifetime responsibility of motherhood for one innocent mistake and as long as the rights of all women to choose a safe and legal abortion are at risk, I’ll continue reliving the nightmare, writing letters, and sending money in support of women’s right to choose.
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